Bin Rydin’s “Lust Coast Ride”
450 S miles & 387,594,729 Curves
April 24 ~ 25 ~ 26, 2009
This ride is “All Will’s Fault” as he suggested that Lee do up a ride this spring using pieces of various rides he has done in this area. The timing “Was Art’s Fault” as he had to be somewhere else before and after this date. As the date approached we watched the BAD weather forecast of a week of rain dissolve into a forecast of lovely spring wood nymphs, daffodils blooming, and no dust. We deserved it.
Joan Cortell, Lee Riddle, Will HisleBeard, Art & Karen Mennick
We take a break after loading the two 650’s that will carry the Two-Up riders. Karen will “monkey” on Arts KLR, while Lee will “chimp” on Will’s XR 650R. Joan will stay home and pray. Dino is resting in his solar powered Obama approved energy facility behind the riders.
Wills bike is sporting a new Scorpion tire, and we will give a shootout report below.
These lucky riders will ride the Friday afternoon “Kneeland loop” 90 miles. After arriving at Fortuna California these riders went up “highway” 36 to “Bridgeville” (pop 10) then headed up the dirt road through ranches and corrals, between barns and ranch houses, occasionally having a young calf jump off a hill in front of the bike on a blind corner, to top out high on the ridge east above Eureka. A quick twisty asphalt drop returned us to Freshwater where we skirted around the south side of Eureka, through Cuttin & Elk River, and avoided most of the highway via Thomkins Hill road. It was a good test ride for the “chimp” Lee to get used to where to hang on, on Wills bike. Wills bike road in on fumes, which was to make the next morning interesting. This afternoon ride was very chilly and we decided to wear everything we owned the next day.
After this evening ride we retarded over to the Eel River Brewery, which was conveniently placed about 25 staggers from the motel (bin Rydin thinks of these important logistics).
The Brewery makes a special beer soaked sauartqrut & sausage plate that was swilled down with organic beer, a big thanks to Art for dinner and beer that night, and as I mentioned, it was only 25 swaggers back to bed (burp!).
Sometime in the wee hours, while chimp boy was snoring, the team of Adam Cortell & Ted showed up and set up camp. They were up early the next morning to tell us that the Denny’s next door had gone out of business. We made do with motel chow.
DAY TWO ~ Fortuna to Fort Bragg
“Off to a good start”
Ted assists Will in the XL 350 “electric start” method after Will runs the tank dry Friday evening, Will has kicked the beast a hundred times. Whoever at Honda decided to make a water-cooled 650 without an electric start should Hari Kari. Ted proceeded to haul Wills bike around the motel on a tie down strap. Note Arts large black waterproof tail bag. Bin Rydin put both of his bowling balls, his golf clubs, AND his clothes in that bag, while Will only loaded up his “essentials”. There was still room for twice as much stuff. We finally headed out kind of late, heading south over the Bear River Ridge road high above the coast range. This was a spooky total ground fog open range type road with lots of cattle guards and a “visibility” of about the end of your visor. It is a pretty fast gravel road that just can flat “vanish” in the fog, and it does have some curves in it. After a while you can start seeing things, like these two people…
Oh !!! It’s Art & Karen posing in front of the Bunker Hill Cemetery. We saw an awful lot of cemeteries on this trip; each little town seemed to have one, and this one was pretty big.
This particular “Town” was called Malfunction Junction” & consisted of one house and a two acre graveyard.
Here Lee is pondering how many hotshot motorcyclists are interned at the Bunker Hill graveyard. NOTE: there are still a few plots available. Note the top of Lee’s nose is still intact
This is downtown “NonFunction Junction” and apparently we woke up the two naked boys in the window. They kept yelling “Motorcycles”. Nice bunches of daffodils are available nearby to place on the graves; we headed south to Petrolia on the “Matole”, a paved crappy asphalt with great views. On the way we passed through Capetown, and I noted that there has been a tremendous population boom in this area since I came through with my son 20 years ago. Now there are three houses instead of two, a 50% increase, (beat that L.A.)
Here is Ted (stylishly wearing Lee’s old crashed on chest protector) cruising along the 6 mile section of the Matole where you are right next to the beach. The beach is to the left. There is one house down here and the guy was mowing his lawn, 15 miles from the nearest neighbor.
PHOTO 7 & PHOTO 8
Here we are at the first gas stop, downtown Petrolia. Oil was first discovered here before anywhere else in the USA, and they shipped it down to the bay. Petrolia is at the west end of the Matole valley, known for its “green industry”. We jabbered with a local bikester who warned us that we were just in time for the ten month “nervous season” and it was best to stay on public roads. He said we were in the “good end of the valley”
Note bin Rydins fabulous “Magic carpet ryde” seat. Through a top secret Serbian fabric process and involving bungie-cord scientists from Laurence Livermores “skunkworks” dept. we were able to disguise this seat as a 1 ½” thick pillow on top of a steel rack.
One of the unique features was the exclusive “Hot Cross Buns” mounting system. The longer you ride it, the better you “stick”. The Hot Cross Buns System (Patent applied for) uses torsional~refurberational modification techniques upon the users posterior regions allowing “grip” in both anterior, altitudinal and tortional side to side motions. Users adapt quickly to this system developing a glue like groove (the Hot Cross). That and 4 Advil will get you to Usal Beach.
Bin Monkied Rydin rode on this for 450 miles. Also note the position of the riders “footpegs”, just in front of the Harley baybee leather bags, Very comfee… knot……
Here is another view on the Sherwood Road.
These pegs, and bin Rydin’s “peg” were noted to droop as the miles piled on, Thank God for Scrimshaw Beer. (& did I mention Advil?),
Next year our proud sponsors will be Advil & Scrimshaw.
This is the road down into Shelter Cove, there is a sign there that has the tally for the number of wrecks per year, We followed two wreckers down the hill.
PHOTO 10 & 11
AH, we have just climbed up a few hundred curves south of Honeydew & now we descended a few hundred curves down into the town of Shelter Cove. Back in Honeydew where we gassed up again, we saw a lot of the local color, like this 400 # Black guy with a tee shirt that said “BLACKNECK”, he got into his lowrider truck which also said Blackneck in the rear window. Most of the people here work in the “green” industry. The road from Honeydew to Shelter cove is pretty twisty. Down here at the south beach it is legal to ride on the beach, but we arrived at a high tide and there was not much beach between the ocean and the cliffs.
Here, Will, Adam, & Ted contemplate taking the much flatter, more direct sea route to Usal beach.
Instead, we climbed back up the mountain, catching the Chemise road through more little hippy towns, and finally hit the USAL road, the Usal is all dirt and had some pretty good corkscrew turns at the start. It also had some pretty good full width mudholes. We were perking along when we hit a nasty uphill mud rutted piece of stopper, when at the last millisecond Will noticed a “Bypass Section” up on the edge. So placing the outside knob of his tire on the last inch of the bypass he went POP- POP- POP, Stall (long second) TIMBER
And down we fell into the mud ruts. It was just as well because a van was stuck just around the corner, and we had to help them get unstuck. A young couple with a baby had run right into these ruts and gotten high centered. Big surprise to us as the ruts were 18” or so, but the wonders of pot smoking, they had been there two hours. On we rode to the Usal Beach.
Here Ted & Adam are watching in awe as Will shows us how he can throw sand with his new tire, Will is off camera to the left and since no body is lying here, we must say “Will, that were impressive”, Next, Will did a few “bike washes” across the river to clean off the Usal road mud.
Here we are leaving the Usal Beach, and yes once again climbing up narrow twisties.
Here Ted is heading out of Usal Beach, watch out for Volvos !!!
And this is the view as you come down toward highway 1
That yellow sign says “NO TRESPASSING”, but if you took two steps to the right, you would fall a few hundred feet down into the ocean.
Will stops for a photo below Usal
Did I mention that it was steep?
Lee (chimp boy) decides not to trespass, it is a good place to hang glide however…
In fact there were good places to hang-glide every few miles. We decided that 150 miles was enough for the day and headed south on 1 into Fort Bragg, Lee had a two hour “longer way” up the Branscome and back the Sherwood, but the call of the ‘Scrimshaw” was overt whelping and we headed into town. After “Primeing Ourselves” with a couple of pitchers of Scrimshaw at the motels pub (Thanks Art !!!) we all hiked the length of downtown to hit the North Coast Brewery for dinner, pretty nice food, and again thanks to Art, we got a sampler plate of every beer that NCB makes (I like # 38 & Scrimshaw the best). Our motel clerk informed us that the Sherwood road was probably gated and there were lots of new logging roads out there, then she gave us the combinations to the gates. I don’t know how she guessed that we were dirt riders, perhaps that hot cross buns look? So after a hot tub it was off to sleep and awaking to a motel breakfast. At this point Art & Karen were going to go back and do the Branscome Road while the rest of us did the Sherwood. The Sherwood gate was open and we did not get lost, except for these guys…
Lee, doing his best “How can you get lost on the Lost Coast ?” impression
Views from the Sherwood
(Not Shown, 35,858 empty shotgun shells, 5 dead burned cars, one baby seat, 15 pairs of panties, one hot pink D8 Caterpillar, and 349 empty six packs)
Pink D Eight ?
Got Apple Juice?
Pepto Bismal Baby
A brief little one lane asphalt leads over to the rest of the Sherwood
Adam & Ted scared some turkeys up here
There is a real nice hairpin 15 MPH downhill off camber just over the top of this high speed straightaway, did I mention the barbed wire fence?
yes, it was on the roll chart.. no whiners
Coffee & Tacos (and smokes) at the Laytonville Gas Reset,
We rejoin Art & Karen for the Dos~Rios~ Poonkinney section over to Covello
Art and Karen took an hour nap waiting for us. Don’t they look refreshed?
After gas in Covello we head up the Mina Road (wild Indians here)
One note here, I still have a scar between my eyes. Here is how I got it. On the Pookinney Road there are a lot of uphill abrupt hairpins with washboard. Will would roll into those babies in sixth gear and then roll on the power. It combined to make a Thump thump thump bump bump thump bump oscillation whereby my glasses would hit my visor then my nose, then my visor, then my nose, kind of like a piledriver. Of course with my patent pending hot cross seat system of 1.5 inches of cushion, it was not too bad, buuttttaaa iiiii couulllddnnoott telllll Willllll about iiit cauusees mmmy tteeeeth weeerrrreee bitttingg mmmy liiipppp.
Will “Stylin” on the open gravel (Take # 1,205)
Will “Says” “Drink apple juice before every ride, you will get to see more “off road”
BTW, BOTH Kettapom “bathrooms” were out of commission.
Mountain money, always carry it…
The last river before Kettenpom
About here we realized we had better quit taking pictures & get our asses up to Kettenpom
Lee had found a “better way” to get down from Kettenpom, but it was not on the roll chart.
So both Art & Karen and Adam & Ted got lost, Art to Aldersport, and Adam did an extra loop to Zenia. Meanwhile Lee & Will were able to make some more pit stops and get in front of Art and Karen. Then we picked up the pace into Blocksburg, Bridgeport, and back to the Eel River Brewery. This off chart maneuver allowed Lee & Will to gain, getting within minutes of the fast guys truck arrival time.
We had only two “accidents” the whole trip, one was a parking lot kickstand “malfunction” (Art) and the other was the Usal road “Bypass ing the Bypass stall (Will)
Will was skillful (lucky) enough to drop the bike a couple centimeters from squiering us on a metal fence post. No one died…
Here is Wills report on the new Scorpion tire you have all bin waiting for…
Oh, you mean the BRAND!?! Pirelli Scorpion XC MidHard. 1600 miles, many of them pavement, and I STILL have a quarter inch of rear knob... and I got half again more mileage from the front tire as I ran it back and forth to work for months before the trip.
Amazing in an aggressive tire with awesome dirt and acceptable street manners!
Did I mention that my spark arrester jettisoned like a Saturn 5 booster at Dunsmuir? Yea, I used my last bungee there... take that you rice racers with the huge tailpipes!
Will did the 450 miles of dirt the first three days, then the third evening he went down 101 and camped in the freezing cold, got up and went to Monterrey, then Stockton, then from Stockton to Jacksonville yesterday. He lost his muffler on I~5, and burned his rear disk coming off the Ashland grade, but the tire is still good…
Did I mention that Will used the patented Hot Cross Buns tie down system to replace his muffler? You don’t get quality parts like that from just anywhere.