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Dan Hatcher, Dale Johnsen and I are taking off on a three-week tour to Alaska and back on our bikes, otherwise known as "Dan, Dale and Tom's [DDT?]Most Excellent Adventure!" (I'll then be heading on a European trip.) Our chronicled updates and pictures will be posted here as often as possible (not many wireless access points or internet cafe's up North!), so stay tuned!
-Tom

Lucky "DOGS". Have a SAFE and FUN trip

Have I told you how much I hate you, Tawmmy? Enjoy your trip. Wish I was going.

Tom (Dale and Danno),

Have a great ride!! As you know, we did that last year and loved it (although you're going to different areas). I look forward to hearing how you liked the Cassiar Hwy 37, we couldn't ride that, and we hear it's excellent. When you hit the frost heaves on the way to TOK, stand on your pegs and hit `em at 65!! We were on our Goldwing and when we were surprised by the first one we hit, my wife left her seat and the suspension bottomed out! Followed by the mandatory whack to the back of my helmet and some screaming that was coming from somewhere.

Unlike deer......do not try to ride through a moose or a bear! HAVE A BLAST....It's a ride like none other!!!

Tawm, Danno, and the Dalester....

Remember to:

a) Have too much dang fun - 'cause you're out there having fun for all of us ...
b) Don't get too pissed with each other - because there will be those days!
{Perhaps a safety word like "yellow" like you used to use in your 'San Francisco' days, n'cest pa?}
c) And it isn't a successful trip unless you manage to come home under your own power.

Looking forward to the Day 14 report when we hear, "...OMG... it's snowing! And a fracking bear ate my seat last night!"

Have a ball, eh!

E-Ticket (randyb)

take a nice small Stil, or huskie varna 0.47cc "tooty brush" for the "hatcher" OK

Lee, I read your post and was wondering. WHAT!!!??? Maybe it will come to me later.

This is great! I'm going on the second day, and I haven't ever seen one bear! Life is good! Danno

So your bear free time has come to an end. Hopefully a 300 yards up the road end! Have fun guys, sorry I couldn't join you, but the Magruder Corridor was awesome.

Bry

* August 2: I met Dan and Dale at Starbuck's in Aloha. Dale was late, but Dan was expected to be typically late. This time he was over an hour late and Dale verbally beat him up over it, but we had a good laugh over it. It must go on the record that I was on time! I had once concern with my bike, Barney. Recently it has been oozing petrol out of the left carburetor and, on this morning it was really bad. While waiting for the boys, I lowered the float level hoping that would fix the issue.

We eventually got rolling and headed north on I5. My bike wouldn't run faster than 60mph though. Dang! We surmised that it was due to the float level now being too low, so I raised it slightly and the problem went away. It still continued to sweat gas around the float bowl though. We stopped in Bellingham and I treated everyone to dinner at the Olive Garden before crossing the border and debated about where to cross at. I suggested the smaller crossing at Sumas, but Dan insisted it would be faster at the main crossing at the Peace Arch, since Sumas was 10 miles or so out of the way. I wish I would have chosen Sumas.

We made our way to the I5 crossing at the Peace Arch and split into three different booths as we rode up. This is where things went horribly wrong. The Canadian official inside the booth asked me where I was going and I said, “I'm finally going to Alaska - woohoo!” I exclaimed.

He said sternly, “Take off your sunglasses.” I did. He then asked for my name.

I replied, “Tom Niemela. Hey, how many people have said their name was 'Tater Salad' to you?”

He replied, “Where do you work and what is your occupation?”

“I'm a geek at Intel” I replied, then chimed in, “Hey, any way you can tease my friend over there about smuggling jelly beans or something?”

He replied more sternly, “Where do you work and what is your occupation?”

“Um, I am an engineer at Intel Corporation” I said. Clearly he was not pleased with me.

“Where's your badge?” he asked.

I replied, “Now why would I take my work badge with me on vacation?”

“You seem like a troublemaker to me. Here is your passport. Take it and this paper, park over there on the left and step inside the building.”

WTF? I must've did it good this time. Sometimes I just don't know when to shut my yapper. I went inside and waited for what seemed like forever while they must have ran a full, life investigation on me. While I was waiting, one border guy was giving a major ass chewing at some guy about taking tires over the border and not paying a tax or something crazy. I mean he was in his face! Then they called up some other guy and started inquiring about some checks he bounced in 1982! Good God, if they're zeroing in on something from that long ago, I figured I was toast.

So you are probably wanting me to cut to the chase, so bottom line, they denied me access to Canadia. Yep, denied. Guess I should've paid that speeding ticket in California from 1987. Never thought I was a 'troublemaker', but I now have proof.

Note to self: don't be a smart ass to the border guards. I was stunned and embarrassed as I came out of the building and had to lay down the bad news to D&D. So all the jubilation we were feeling just moments prior was now completely polarized. I had to then bid farewell to D&D and got in the line to come back to the States. This sucked and the USA border dude couldn't believe it either, but it wasn't his country, so there was nothing he could do.

So my trip is now completely changed. I'm heading East to Glacier Park and maybe even Yellowstone. It's been awhile since I've been to both. Hell's fire, I may even take in the Sturgis Rally and hang with the Harley posers, but I'm not going to let some schmo at the border (and my stupidity) ruin my vacation. So stay in this forum to continue reading about D&D's Alaska Trip – I won't be a part of it. And yes, I considered crossing at a different location, but thought better of it, since I was now in their damn computer. So I've created another forum for my 'Anti-Canadian Trip' and you can monitor that by CLICKING HERE. Best of luck Dan and Dale and post when you can, so I can live vicariously! Alaska or bust? I went bust!
xoxo,
-Smart-Ass Tom

You got to be kidding me....

Please tell us this is a joke, Tawm-bo.... - E-Ticket

Oh Tawm, tell me it ain't so. Reminds me of the time maaaaany years ago when I was flying in on business, in a suit and tie too and they asked for my passport. Back then all you needed was a drivers license to get in and I said, I didn't bring one, "This is Canada, just like America isn't it?" Oh man, did I say the wrong thing! He almost sent me back and he made sure he made an example of me in front of a lot of people, took a lot of pleading on my part to get thru.

Enjoy your trip, Sturgis would be cool.
DK

I was expecting a somewhat different "ending" to this tall tale... Something like this

"Tawm strides back to Barney and pretends to turn back to the USA, while winking at Hatchetman Dan & Dale (they know what to do...)
Dale reaches into his saddlebags and throws hundreds of pounds of jellybeans everywhere over the tarmac, while Dan fires up his chainsaw. Barney snorts to life and wheelies off toward Canada as hundreds of Uzi armed gaurds slip on the jellybeans and fire vollies into the sky. Dan takes care of anyone left standing... Barnies errant carburator float lays down a wall of gasoline flame totally roasting the check station, as he does his best imitation of Steve McQueen flying over the barbed wire fence
The End"

PS, I had more trouble (3 hour strip down of motorhome) getting back in the USA, than getting into Canada
(15 minutes)

Well Dan and I have hit some really cool backroads thus far. We are spending night five in Hyder and drank plenty of beer tonight but didn't get "Hyderized" since we still have a long way to go on our way up the Dempster to Inuvik. We saw our first bear today, along with many great views and the sunshine has been killer the whole time. I've put the GS down twice so far and am greatful that Dan was around to help me get it back up. He even had to get his feet wet one time. We both wish Tom could be here too. More reports to come if we get a chance. Just too dang tired to fill in all the gaps right now.

Dale

Man, the "trip report" lunch with you guys ought to be just awesome after you get back.... <grin>

Glad you're having a ball! E-Ticket

Dale and I pulled into Hyder yesterday and I met my goal for this trip. I'm farther north than I've ever been and I'm in Alaska! We found out a guy from Tigard, the town that I grew up in, has a fishing business here. Jim Simpson and his sister Carol (she was in my class) moved here in the early 70's and have been here since. Jim told us all about the area over "Fish and Chips" at his wife's diner. Dale and I need to get on the road as it's getting late. More later, Danno